Fall

I feel very depressed and disheartened today. I've fallen off the wagon a bit, eaten things I shouldn't have. Which one caused which I don't know, and it might not even matter. They seem to be a cyclical cause and effect loop, but I am determined that it will end before the end of the day. I will do better tomorrow. No. I will do better starting right now.

I put on my pedometer this morning only for it to tell me it was out of juice, so right out of bed the omens were ill. I remembered to take all of my medications this morning, a definite win, but forgot to eat breakfast before leaving the house.

Eating breakfast at home is essential for me to have a good day food wise. Once I get hungry enough to remember I forgot to eat breakfast I am hungry enough to rationalize going through the Taco Bell drive thru, which I did this morning. 500 delicious and horrible calories and way too many carbs of a beefy Fritos Burrito to start me out for the day.

I've got good excuses for not remembering to eat before I leave in the morning: I'm trying to get kids ready to leave for school, my medications haven't kicked in yet, I haven't slept very well, there hasn't been any coffee yet. The really unfortunate thing is how habitually these excuses take over, and how easy it is to let them.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I could have gone home after dropping my daughter of at school. Usually we walk since it's only about a half mile, and that helps get the day started. Today, however, I needed to drive.

My goat is due to kid any day, and I needed to make sure that I had everything I needed, which meant a trip to the farm supply store with my car. Moving my youngest from his stroller to his car seat can be a nightmare if he doesn't want to cooperate, and before I've had my coffee in the morning is too early to deal with that, so I decided to just put him in his car seat and go straight from my daughter's school to the farm store, forgetting to eat breakfast before I left.

We had an appointment to meet with a preschool my son might be attending this fall today as well, so we didn't have a chance to get home between places. This is a recipe for bad nutritional choices.

I still hadn't had my coffee after the farm store so I went to a drive thru coffee stand and got a breve... It's not so bad carb wise but it's really heavy in calories, probably around 450.

When I finally got home I was so depressed about it I just couldn't eat lunch. I did eat several girl scout samoas, though, because that makes sense.

Fridays are early release at my daughter's school, so I had to go pick her up two hours earlier than I normally do. My son had decided to fall asleep not long before we needed to leave, and I didn't really want to wake him up, so I put him back in the car seat and took the car to pick up my daughter again instead of walking. That's a complete mile of walking I did not do today.

My snacking habits also got the better of me today: cheese and club crackers. Oh my god cheese and crackers. And sloppy joes on potato bread for dinner.

I'm hoping I didn't blow my calorie budget too high over my limit, especially since I didn't track anything I ate today. I'm positive that my carb intake today is at least twice what I would like it to be.